Month: February 2008

Creepy as Fuck

/ dubiouspanda / 4 Comments

 

Smoke Breaks in the Middle of the Night

Here in the Mountains of Tennessee…

Are Creepy as Fuck.

First off, Because of the Mountains nerely every Night the Mist and Fog are so thick you can’t really see anything…

And then there are the Weird sounds.

Tonight was definitely the strangest night in a while.

When I Walked outside on the Porch

(I don’t go to the front of the House… the porch is lofted so if anything wants to eat me it has to go up the stairs first)

I hear this weird Metalic Whistle, Siren, Echo, Weerrrhhoooo Weeerrhhooo

Sound,

And it sounds close like its coming from the street over, but of course I can only barely make out the houses over there from the few with lights on their lawns.

And then about 3 minutes later the Dogs start up, Everywhere

(Everyone who lives here has a dog, apparently)

And in the background of the Dogs there was what sounded like far away screaming

and that same Metalic Whistle, Almost like a Ambulance or a Police Siren (But Metalic and different)

But it was much farther away now. Past the woods and up a hill.

I Wish I had a recorder so I Could post it…

But It was definitely Strange.

And Creepy

Especially the Far away Screaming sound

(I couldn’t tell if it was a mutt  coyotee Yowl or a Human)

Blah, The Mountains of Tennessee

Are a Creepy Place a Night.

(and my dog, is a bigger Chicken then I am, she doesn’t like going outside at Night)

-thend-

 

p.s.

It wasn’t a Vehicle either, I would have seen it or heard the engine

and later on it moved to an area without connecting roads.

To sum it all up

Life in Tennessee

Is Alot Like Living in The Movie Begotten

The scripts keep piling up…

/ dubiouspanda / 1 Comment

 

Entering Month Two of my Quest to break into the Comics industry…

After hitting a brick wall with Publishers

(They are only interested in Writer/Artist pre-established Combo pitches)

So for the Past week I’ve been scouring various website some of the more helpful editors pushed me towards.

But damn is it seaming more and more like a shot in the dark.

There are lots of Artists out there and many of them hungry for work…

But very few of a professional quality

(Capable of keeping up with a monthly dead line)

So Then I Decided I might as well answer a few postings for writers wanted…

That turned out even worse…

Many of Those were Dead set on their Terrible stories…

If your Story is Shit and you know this, so you’ve came looking for writers to Fix it,

But Are unwilling to take suggestions on where the Story could Go.

(Whats the Point?)

(No matter how hard you try and hype it, a Bad Concept is a Bad Concept)

(Brute Lavender: Stone God, a story about a cave man fighting 1980’s robots to protect his cave woman, is not a great concept.)

(Fire Bat, A story about a bland looking guy with a fiery jet backpack… has been done… over and over again. And your 1960’s Astro boy villians don’t help)

(See where I’m coming from here!? you can’t do much for these concepts)

And then there are the even more Crazy ones

Who love your Ideas and want you To work on a 12 Issue Arc

(10-13 Pages per issue on average so thats around 100+ pages of Work)

But Don’t want to pay you (Even off the Back-end profits should it get picked up)

Yes People are actually expecting me to just be happy with a Name credit.

(And I do realise the artist has a heck of alot more work to do then me, but Nothing? No compensation but my name of the book? Come on…)

The lands of Spandex are a crazy place indeed…

 

Well I’m going to continue to wade through the flock

and try to find some talent…

Who Knows…

At least its been depressingly Interesting.

<(*.*<)   ^(*.*^)     (>*.*)>

-thend-

 

 

/ dubiouspanda / 1 Comment

 

 

–

 

A Colt In the Fist of the Devil.

Drained in Boredom or Lust. It was Time.

Silence, and

I begin Laughing Again

As I Throw my arms Around

Him

And lay my head upon his shoulders,

Continuing to Laugh

Until Tears begin to Fall, Rolling 

Down the Lapel of his Suit,

Which is glowing now

From the Luminance

Of the Lamppost Above Us.

 

(From Laughter to Tears to the Glee of Destruction)

 

While He (The other) is Speaking now

On the Telephone, asking for more Promises and Lies.

While I

Realize

I Don’t have a Phone;

But Hear him Speaking Nonetheless.

{Yes}

My Suspicions Are Scurrying

Hardily This Night.

 

 The Maps

Long Laid

Across My Veins

Are Warping Slowly

Under These… Innumerably

Sick Nights.

 

{Birds Have no Fear of Madness… however}

 

A Breeze Builds

Inside His Ears,

It Cools Me,

With its Low Hum,

(The Sound)

{Of His General, yet Fiery Apathy}

 

As

Idle Vertical

Worthlessness

Unites;

Clothing

Us

In a Devils Changeless Grin.

Where Upon,

Weaving us tightly to the Seams of the Night,

We are Robbed of Blood

By Lack of Breath…

 

As the Fantasies

Of wanton Secretaries

Are washed to The Streets;

And in Puddles

Pool

And Hope

In Vain

To Forge Illicit

The Shadows

Of  the Skyscrapers

As They Fall.

(tumble wobble crash and awe) 

 

While with Lungs

Pumped full of Sharp

Thick Mind

He Tells me

 

“Like Cloud Syringes

                Drawing Up Blue.

Like Darkness

  When It’s Through…”

 

The Taxi Arrives

And We Are Off

to a Cemetery

Without Crosses.

To a Highway

That Metal Fences Shine

Forever

And Screeching

Like Steel Wool Across the Teeth of God.

 

Long Ago

Now

On a Cliff Far Away

He Covers my Dream

With a Rain

Of Empty Bones.

Which Continues Ceaselessly

Long After

Even Our Skin

Has Been Torn Away.

 

 

{We Are}

{Air}


{We Are}

{Air}

 

Whiskey in His Hands

whispering

 

“Inside these Bottles

Rows of tenements

 are Burning.”

 

Just Before

He Hurls them 

Loudly into The Abyss.

 

(Yes)

I Am Sleepless

With Thirst Or Memory

 

Far From the City.

…

The Cities Are Dead.

 

 

Here Among these

ill

and far to Pretty Stars…



There is Only A Gun

…Raised

To the Flicker of My Shadow

and my smile as a bang

eyes fading

the world ending

 

closing darkness

 

Tee-Hee

Giggles

Mirth

And Glee.

 

 

 

-The End-

 

 

-Of Wet Dreams Always and Just After Dawn-

 

 

P.s. 

I Would Have you Know

That I am Part of a Very Prestigious Line

Of Trained Monkeys.

/ dubiouspanda / 2 Comments

Life… its a wonderful place to visit…

But I Wouldn’t want to Live There.

 

–

Blach, Rouche! Garbonzo…

My life is pretty dull right now so I really have nothing to talk about or post

But random scribbly poems and such…

Past few days I really haven’t even been awake for the actual day portion of the Day.

Somehow my Days and Nights have gotten Flipped… I Barely made it to the store today to get groceries before they closed… (and I was running pretty low on food)

I was gonna go work out at 6 am when the local community gymn old lady hang out place opened up… but then I Realised it was Saturday Night and they don’t open till noon on Sundays…

Woe is me

My Seeds came in the mail today… So I’ll probably drink the night away and then work on the Garden— in one of Those Lovely Boozey, Sleep Deprived, Fugues…

(Fresh Basil and Thyme Ect is so so so much better then the dried bottle stuff)

(And its to expensive to buy it in the 3 Doller Fresh Packs from the Grocery…)

So yeah… Aren’t you glad you read this Exciting Post!…

 

The only thing I really have to look forward to is going to some dark and dreary bar when i’m finally to restless and empty to resist that seedy night life sirens call…

And then maybe If I’m lucky I’ll see someone who looks cute or interesting

But They’ll be with someone or The moment will just never Be Right

And I’ll wind Up flirting or talking to someone else who approaches me

And They’ll get their Hopes up.

And at last Call, I’ll dissappear.

Same old,

Over the Years, I’ve collected a Mountain of Phone Numbers I’ll never Call.

At least its nice feeling desirable, Like a little injection of useless feel good.

 

Anyone Else find Themselves drawn to Sad Places, looking for Love in a Trash can

And Seeing It, Wind up unable to actually follow through…

So you watch from afar, Letting the flies swarm on you.

I Think I have have one of those innocent… Lonely Faces,

And Thats what draws the Wolves and the Vultures to me.

Who Knows…

Knoxville has plenty of Dive bars…

And They are packed full with Wolves and Worse.

And Its Almost a Given they’ll start to Circle,

Closing in for the Kill.

( I Wish They Realised that, I’m the one thats here to Kill)

(Kill your Time with mine, and Suck up bits and pieces of your Life to be used at my disgression)

(Its about Sex for you, But I’m just bored and Empty)

(And you Won’t get what you Want)

(  I However… Will)

In the Two Hour Span of a Night,

You Can Watch a dozen Dreams bloom and Roll through someones Eyes,

Shiny and happy with the Unknowable burst of new Hope.

Is that Evil I Wonder?

Enjoying That…

 

Hmmm

Maybe next Weekend I should flip it up

And Go somewhere Shiny and Happy with the Thumpa Thump

And filled with People who are actually my Age…

Or maybe one of the few Slick Lounges where the Professional Happy Hour’ers go…

But I Digress

I Miss College

And Friends

And People who aren’t so dark and used Up…

(I Swear People here who are only Thirty Years old, Look Like Their 49 Going on 50)

But Mostly

I Just miss friends

-thend-

Not Knowing the Difference Between Good and Bad,

/ dubiouspanda / 4 Comments

 (its better for you in the long run.)

 

 

 

 

Saliva rationalized hooks unreasoning

 

Hammering, to quickly. The Scene

 

That Gasping soaked Advertisement

 

Figuring out how to keep:

 

Drenched, glanced, the flicking Slender of a Neck.

 

I agreed with myself and hurriedly got undressed

 

Sudden sag, untidy Emotion, the studied production of a man’s Wrist.

 

Gimpy… Confused… I shambled to a halt in a Cloud

 

Made entirely of Exhaust Fume (Words?)

 

Involved

 

 cleared throat jumping

 

Gathered microwaves, new pomp and shiny, around the bed

 

Repeating awkward, shut with one foot, Mouth bound and Coming

 

Leaky accordion, playing Bill Crosby, on Fire

 

Have you ever Felt Despair?

 

  I know for certain

 

That I never have,

 

Its Simply a Matter of never Looking up

 

 

That Specific Word, In a Dictionary.

 

Trading in Ignorance, Stock Broker, Fortune500ate

 

And You

 

Can Do it

 

Too.

 

(Begging)

 

Beginning Happy —-of Lesser Words

 

—–Three letter Sad’s

 

And Conjoined Twins

 

Not-Happy and Dis-Satisfied.

 

(After All)s

 

Emptiness

 

Should be Cured with More!

 

(Emptiness)

 

(Right?)

 

 

 

But Then Again

 

I am a Proper Liar.

 

(See, I’ve even got a Tie)

 

-thend-

 

 

p.s.

 

“The Cold Rain Came Down in Buckets!”

 

(Yes, Just Like those Phony Aliens in photos)

 

-The End-

 

 

 

I had something i wanted to write about,

 

But now I Can’t remember…

 

I think it was about Reality TV or Androgyny

 

(yeah, I Have a Thing for Cute Butch Lesbians)

 

Hmmm Oh  I Did watch a Documentary on New York Street Walkers (Hookers)

 

It was Really Good… but fucking Sad…

 

People who Don’t want Prostitution Legalised are Morally Bankrupt…

 

(Thats Such a Dangerous Profession, Lots of People Dying and Getting used up For Nothing)

 

What a Waste…

 

If it was Legal, so many Lives wouldn’t be needlessly cut short by Violence or Disease.

 

Marginalyzed like they are in this country, they’re basically just prey for sick Fucks.

 

(Both Pimp, and Murderer alike)

 

Sometimes I think the conservative values of this country are the least Christian like thing in existence…

 

(Hell even Satanism, is More Christian)  (Live and Let Live, The Pursuit of Individual happiness)

 

I understand disliking the choices other people make in their lives…

 

But Not the Almost Blithe Disregard for their Safety and Rights… because of that Disapproval…

 

Theres so much Bullshit in the World.

 

How’d We Wind Up Like This?

 

Misanthropy…

 

Sometimes its almost Shockingly Logical.

 

I might be lonely and empty inside

 

But I’ve got a Warm Fire to sit infront of and waste Vast Portions of my Life…

 

(Its Gas Burning, with Fake logs and I love it More than You)

 

I Can’t imagine standing night after night in the Cold and Snow

 

Having to Run from Cops or Violent Rapists or Killers…

 

Night after Night…

 

Because my Family threw Me out (For Being a Boy who Wants to be a Girl or Being Attracted to the Same Gender) Or Because My Dad was Molesting me or My Mother was a Crack Head who Sells my Clothes for Drugs

 

And I’m to Young or Too Uneducated to Get a Job that pays Enough to Survive On

 

Or Any other of the Thousands of Reasons people Wind up selling Their Bodies.

 

Blah.

 

Supreme Blah

 

Legal Brothels Would at least

 

Have a Fire Place.

 

-thend-